Here's Abraham Hicks.

you may think it's odd to see this post on a blog that has been so steadfastly focused on health and nutrition, but actually it is not too far fetched. because you can't change who you are forever by willpower and words alone. the only way you can make a long-lasting, substantial transformation is by changing how you think and feel from the inside. if you "hate the whole world and think it is ganging up on you" then it is, but you can "love the whole world and feel is working in your favor" and it is!

you can say to yourself "i hate myself, this diet will never work... i'll just gain it back" or you can say:

 "i am worthy of love. i love myself! i am going to take care of myself just as i would help an innocent little child. i will make good food the eat that is healthy and satisfying and i will enjoy it to the fullest, knowing that ultimately being healthy today is the first step to being healthy every day. i am going to succeed because i am worthy of a healthy, sexy, feel-good body and no one can keep me from having one but me!"

"leaning" towards yours goal.

leaning in the direction of your goal, is a choice we make 10 times a day.

sometimes i don't feel like being on a "diet". i don't feel like being perfect. but i also don't feel like going back to where i was, heavy and lethargic. in these cases, i am learning a new technique called "leaning". instead of asking what i should eat to "stay on my diet", i ask "which way would i like to lean today, toward a healthy body that functions better that the one i am in today, or towards the unhealthy body, the one i had before?" framing my decision in this light feels more like a nudge in the right direction, rather than a black and white ultimatum. i use my imagination and visualize the way i want to go. in this case, using the image above, do i want to go to the left or to the right? the action i take today determines that. but it's not like i have to cross a finish line or win a prize, just move in that direction. and i know that if i move in that direction most of the time, eventually i will get to that place.

faith in yourself (and where you're going)

Amanda Sizemore, farmer, handling the crops that survived devastating rains.

i don't think about faith much. haven't used the word in many years. i don't tend to say things like "ya gotta have faith!". i always thought that was more of a christian-thing, referring to of course to "faith in god". but as i have considered what keeps me from meeting my personal goals and staying on track with my health, i have decided that it is not lack of willpower or lack of desire, but rather a lack of faith.

change is difficult. even when it is change for the good. even when it is self selected change. changing the way you think about food, how you prepare it how much you eat and when and where. and focusing daily on gratitude and goals and breathing and walking. all change for the good. and the results are good too! the slimming effect is good. more energy is good. but, alas! sometimes exhausting. i begin to wonder "how much longer can i keep this up? will my dreams come true? is it all worth it?"

and this, my peeps, is where faith comes in. faith in myself. not faith in some far away place or person or idea. faith in being alive today. faith in knowing that good things will sprout from the seeds that i labor to plant today. faith like a farmer has faith!

when i went looking for a "faith" image to accompany this blog post, i was afraid of what i might find, and all my fears came true. it was mostly churchy-imagery with hookey slogans attached. but when i changed my search to "faith in where you're going" it lead me to the image you see above and to the story of two farmers, Jeremy and Amanda Sizemore who know about faith:

Storms swamped their fields with rain that sometimes totaled 3 or more inches in a day. In May alone, the area absorbed a record-breaking 9 inches. So much rain makes it logistically difficult to get in the fields to plant crops, and it creates a perfect environment for pests, fungi and other diseases. The Sizemores estimate their revenue came up about 50 percent below expectations because of lost crops. But they never quit, and they plan to come back bigger next year. “Farming is more about having faith in what you're doing than having control over it,” said Jeremy, 35. “If you ain't got faith, you ain't going to last long.”

so as i move back into my body and eating the right stuff that nourishes me, "the whole me" rather than feeding my diseases, i have to give thanks to my faith for keeping me on track. because just as mr. sizemore says,"If you ain't got faith, you ain't going to last long.”

for the rest of the story about the sizemores go here.

shifting gears

when i started this project, 50 pounds to passion, my intention was to bring my life into balance. and when i looked at my life i could see that the most obvious place to start was with my body, because this weight imbalance was the "easiest" to correct because you can see it in the mirror. i changed the way i ate and increased my level of physical activity. now i feel better and i do have a better sense of self. all good.

but now as i struggle along with this effort, i am aware of some of the stumbling blocks to my success: i'm hopelessly under-employed.

why is this a stumbling block? because when i am there i am so bored i can focus on little else than where my next little treat might come from and at the end of the day i feel like i need to reward myself with food and drink just for making it through the grind of it all. on the contrary, when i am engaged in activities i enjoy, writing, editing video, solving a graphic design challenge or collaborating on a project with creative people i respect, the last thing on my mind is food.

if my goal is to find passion, and find balance i am going to have to resolve this issue. but there are few places to turn to get the answers. when everyone says "follow your bliss", i think to myself, "wow, i have followed my bliss in the past and it has lead me straight to the poor house". so in these next few weeks, i intend to maintain what i have started with diet and exercise, but my blog posts will be more focused on setting new goals, and finding new roads to accessing a healthy, happy life.

finding passion begins with vulnerability

now that i have lost 25 lbs, and am feeling like a different person from when i first started 3 months ago, i finally feel like "this is going to happen". taking the slow route has had it's share of challenges. but like the turtle and the hare, it's how things turn out in the end that matters. on this illustrious occassion, i thought this would be the right time to re-consider the original goal of this blog and the intention behind it: FINDING PASSION.

in conjunction to the efforts to lose weight, i have also been working on the other to realms of the equation: mind+spirit. the 50 POUNDS concept is to let go of the stuff (mental and spiritual junk) that is clinging to me and that i am still clinging to. as i have let go of the unforgiving idea worthlessness, i have also found it helpful to be open to the concept of vulnerability. accepting myself for who i am, knowing that i am not perfect, is the first step to accepting others for who they are, knowing that they are not perfect either. this is a great weight off my mind and spirit. and just like the new patterns for eating, this takes constant adjustment to begin establishing new patterns of thought.

berne brown's ted talk is one of the most inspiring videos i have watched on the topic of vulnerability.  in fact, some of her ideas on vulnerability were instrumental in leading me to create the 50 POUNDS TO PASSION blog.