trust your body's ability to heal

fast-food-floozie vs. long-haul-hanna

fast-food-floozie vs long-haul-hanna

i was talking with my eldest brother the other day, the one who has lost a bunch of weight and is keeping up with his running, and i reminded him about the importance of getting some raw green stuff into his system to help keep him strong. i am always pushing protein smoothie with greens on him, especially after he takes a long run.  i was pleasantly surprised when he told me that he WAS getting into smoothies, as his running partner had been been preparing them after a few of their runs. of course, she's starting him off with strawberry smoothies, which he liked. "tastes like a strawberry shake... almost!" he said. i said what about spinach and flax seed, have you tried that yet? "yeah, i'm not so much for the flax seed stuff" he admitted.

i remember when i first started drinking the more complex smoothies and having the same reaction. now, however, the flavor and texture really come in second to the nutritional content. these days i prefer a little grit and bits of chewable greens in my drink. 'figure it just comes with the territory. 
in the old days i was satisfied with cheap processed foods and imitation ice cream shakes. they tasted so good to me. like a cheap date, you know, big salty-sweet flavor explosions all night long and just a little tinge of regret in the morning. everything felt so good in the moment, but "no-so-much" in the long run. now, i'm eating whole fruits and vegetables and juicing ginger and turmeric root with kale, carrot and anise. it's a whole other deal. sometimes it takes a little work. sometimes it's not so convenient. but the pay off is always there, not always right away, but in the long haul. eating whole foods instead of commercially processed food is the same difference as having a committed life partner than a cheap one night stand. eating is a kind of relationship you have with your body.   and just like having a life partner, it's not always exciting, sometimes you have to be patient, sometimes there's something flashier across the street or at another table, but what you have is better because it's a commitment for life. i guess what i am saying is: treat your body with the respect you would have for your perfect life partner, and not the way you would treat a quick trick on a drunken week-end romp, because after-all you and you're body are going to be together for a long time.

diabetes: an animated explanation

diabetes is a not an easy thing to understand. this video is the best explanation i have found on this complicated topic, so i am sharing it here with you today. take the time to educate yourself about the signs of diabetes so that you may spot it in yourself or a loved one in its early stages. the mainstream medical community is slowly coming around to the idea that this disease may be managed, even reversed, to some extent by exercise and dietary restrictions. as you will see in this video, obesity is a contributing factor in type 2 diabetes. learning to spot the warnings early is vital in managing good health.

eating right

eating right not only taste good. it feels good. i start my day out with a glass of water and a quick walk to get the blood flowing, followed by a green smoothie. later when i get a little hunger i make some hot tea or eat an apple with peanut butter. for a late lunch/ early dinner i usually have steamed fish with veggies.
i like to buy a multitude of frozen veggies and frozen fish too so that i always have this option on hand. but when i have time, i also buy fresh. either way, for me, this combination is endlessly good. no need for rice or pasta for me! (i sometimes drizzle my plate with a balsamic vinegar reduction to add drama and a flavorful punch). i found a recipe for this combo on the real simple website and am re-posting here. but really it's just a matter of tossing all the ingredients into the the steamer, fish on top, and letting'er rip!

Ingredients

• 1  head broccoli, cut into florets
• 3  yellow squash or zucchini, cut into 1/2-inch rounds
• kosher salt and black pepper
• 4  8-ounce  skinless halibut fillets (about 1 inch thick)
• 4  teaspoons  extra-virgin olive oil
• 2  tablespoons  finely chopped fresh herbs, such as basil, flat-leaf parsley, or thyme (optional)
• 2  lemons, halved

Directions

1. Place a steamer in a large saucepan. Add enough water to reach just below it. Bring to a boil.
2. Add the broccoli and squash and steam, covered, until tender, about 7 minutes. Transfer to a bowl, season with ¼ teaspoon salt, and cover.
3. If necessary, add more water to the pan. Return to a boil. Season the halibut with ½ teaspoon salt and ¼ teaspoon pepper.
4. Place the halibut on the steamer, cover, and cook until it flakes easily and is the same color throughout, about 7 minutes.
5. Drizzle the halibut and vegetables with the oil. Sprinkle with the herbs (if using) and serve with the lemon halves.

risk and pain

risk and pain? gosh! who wants to talk about or think about that! we spent so much time seeking comfort and safety in this complicated world, we sometime forget that pain and risk are the elements that create that comfort. without pain and risk there would be no olympic champions to marvel over and respect, there would be no nobel peace prize winners, and yet we tend resist risk and pain in out own personal lives.

i attended a kundalini yoga class yesterday, for the first time in a long time and learned a great deal. firstly, i learned that i am a lot more out of shape that i thought i was (but that is about to change) and secondly, that yoga is painful! it hurts to hold a pose for a long time, and breathe and focus. it is difficult. no getting around that. but that is part of the point: yoga can be painful, just as life can be painful. it is how we deal with that pain that is important.

yoga is a "practice". the definition of practice is a repeated performance or systematic exercise for the purpose of acquiring skill or proficiency. one practices, dealing with or managing pain so that when painful situations arise in daily living one is better prepared at handling it. 

yoga is also sometime referred to as a "discipline". i'm interested in this word too as it applies to the process of life and personal development. wikipedia has this to say about discipline: 

Discipline is the assertion of willpower over more base desires, and is usually understood to be synonymous with self control. Self-discipline is to some extent a substitute for motivation, when one uses reason to determine the best course of action that opposes one's desires.

risk, pain, practice, discipline. these are heady concepts, but all part of the game when it comes to finding the path to better health in body, mind and spirit. take a deep breathe and plunge into the most rewarding time of you life: blossom!

start your day right: with a "greenie"!

i kicked the coffee habit and replaced it with green smoothies. it's better to get real nutrients in my system early in the morning than a cup of coffee, which seems to trigger my old desire for bagels, bacon and eggs and my endless (fruitless) quest for the perfect american-cornbeef hash. just because "the greenie" is popular with health nuts, runners, dancers and athletes doesn't mean i can't join in on the fun. all you need is a blender and some fresh and frozen foods. i like smoothies (with protien powder) better than pure juices as they don't tend to spike my sugar levels as much, which is something i need to be mindful of. there are a million smoothie and juicing recipes online but not all are low-cal and some are actually packed with fruit sugars, so choose wisely. here  is one of my own recipes that sounds kind of gross, but tastes great!

timo's greenie
add all into blender and blend until smooth

3/4 cup coconut milk
1/2 cup frozen kale
1/2 frozen banana
1 sliced (and cored) granny smith apple
1 scoop low-carb protein power
1 heaping spoon flax seed power
1 big dash of cinnamon 
 3/4 cold green tea
1 scoop clear fiber (orange flavor)

of course the best thing about greenies is that you throw what ever you have in the fridge that's fresh and it ends up tasting good...and when they don't taste good, you still know that what you're drinking is good for you! experiment!

educate yourself

HBO has produced an amazing series of programs called THE WEIGHT OF THE NATION. These programs are an excellent educational resource for anyone interested in good health, but especially those who are obese and looking for solid answers.

HERE'S THE OVERVEIW:
Bringing together the nation’s leading research institutions, THE WEIGHT OF THE NATION is a presentation of HBO and the Institute of Medicine (IOM), in association with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the National Institutes of Health (NIH), and in partnership with the Michael & Susan Dell Foundation and Kaiser Permanente.
The centerpiece of THE WEIGHT OF THE NATION campaign is the four-part documentary series, each featuring case studies, interviews with our nation’s leading experts, and individuals and their families struggling with obesity. The first film, CONSEQUENCES, examines the scope of the obesity epidemic and explores the serious health consequences of being overweight or obese. The second, CHOICES, offers viewers the skinny on fat, revealing what science has shown about how to lose weight, maintain weight loss and prevent weight gain. The third, CHILDREN IN CRISIS, documents the damage obesity is doing to our nation’s children. Through individual stories, this film describes how the strong forces at work in our society are causing children to consume too many calories and expend too little energy; tackling subjects from school lunches to the decline of physical education, the demise of school recess and the marketing of unhealthy food to children. The fourth film, CHALLENGES, examines the major driving forces causing the obesity epidemic, including agriculture, economics, evolutionary biology, food marketing, racial and socioeconomic disparities, physical inactivity, American food culture, and the strong influence of the food and beverage industry.

getting real

talking with a friend on the phone today, i mentioned the process i am going thru to achieve better physical condition. she said, "oh! i'm going on a diet-thing too! and i have discovered a new boot camp video that really works". when she got further along in the conversation, she mentioned that when her doctor told her, "that won't last" she was shocked. "where is the support?" she wondered. and i said... that won't last.

it seems that the doctor and i have learned something in common. when it comes to weight loss conversations, there's no room for bull shit. like me, he has probably seen people go on and off a million diets and end up at the same place in the end. better to call a spade a spade. in my friend's case, that ($150) video is going to be collecting dust on top of the tv in 4 to six weeks. at any rate,i'm fairly certain that it won't be the center of her fitness life a year from now. she'll be on to something newer and better as soon as the thrill of this routine wears off or worse she'll be out of the exercise circuit all together do to a pulled muscle or over exertion.

what's the harm in trying you may ask? the harm in "trying" is that this process is just another delay at getting to the heart of the matter: long-term, sustained weight loss. until we get to the point where we are truly honest with ourselves and decide to make real changes in our everyday habits, we are just chasing rabbits down a hole.

real change comes only when we take a for-real look at who we are and come to terms with the facts: i'm not happy, i'm not healthy and i am going to stop behaving in ways that are killing me softly. no super-duper, extra-amazing video is needed to start a new healthy lifestyle. getting up in the morning and going for a walk does that just fine. it doesn't require a sledge hammer to tap a nail into a wall to hang a photo of a friend. a hammer will do just fine. getting real and keeping things real on a daily basis, step by step, minute by minute is what is needed to find success.

simmer down. drink tea. take a 40 minute walk.

use your imagination

A recent study at McGill University reports that the best way to improve your eating habits is to not only create an action plan but to visualize yourself following through. Participants were asked to consume more fruit for one week. One group simply set the goal to eat more fruit. The other group set the same goal, wrote it down and also visualized carrying out the specific steps needed to eat more fruit. For example, they visualized themselves purchasing fruit and eating it at particular times. While both groups ate more fruit, the group that used visualization ate twice as much. This study supports the positive effects of visualization known for years by sport psychologists and peak performers.

What is Visualization?

We all visualize whether or not we’re aware of it.  Anything you’ve wanted and received in your life first began with a picture in your mind. Think of other goals you’ve accomplished. You created the vision first.  For example, you first held the image of seeing yourself in a particular job, or driving a certain car.

Visualization is the process of deliberately using your imagination to create a mental model in your mind. The mind doesn't know the difference between what is real and what is imagined, so when you visualize your subconscious encodes this new picture as if it actually happened. This helps you build confidence, keeps your mind focused on your goal and pre-paves the way for you to intuitively move in the direction of what you want.

A Basic Formula 

Follow these steps to begin using visualization to reach your weight loss goal:

• Sit or lie down comfortably. Close your eyes. Breathe deeply for several moments to relax.
• Now, picture yourself at your goal weight or a weight you can easily see yourself reaching.
• Notice the feelings and sensations associated with this image. For example, see yourself walking along a street feeling confident as you move your body with ease.
• After three to five minutes, gently open your eyes. Continue longer if you prefer.

It’s important to be in a quiet space with no distractions so you can calm your mind and relax your body. The more deeply relaxed you feel the greater your ability to internalize the images.

We all imagine in different ways. Some people are more visual, others more kinesthetic. If you’re unable to “see” a clear mental picture, that’s OK. Just get a sense of the experience in whatever way feels natural to you.

Connecting with your feelings as you visualize strengthens its effects. For example, feel that sense of confidence at reaching your goal weight. Commit to a daily practice, perhaps visualizing as you lie in bed in the morning or before falling asleep at night.

emo-eating

there has been lots of talk about emotional eating. and the ins and outs of what that means is probably very complicated. clearly the sub-conscious mind is at work here, and the ego, and probably self-loathing of one kind or another for one reason or another. i have never heard of anyone who has lost weight as a direct result of psycho-analysis. but recognizing the warning signs of when this type of eating is occurring may help to putting an end to it. 

what are the telltale signs of emotional eating? what foods are the most likely culprits when it comes to emotional eating? and how it can be overcome? 

How to Tell the Difference

There are several differences between emotional hunger and physical hunger, according to the University of Texas Counseling and Mental Health Center web site:

1. Emotional hunger comes on suddenly; physical hunger occurs gradually.
2. When you are eating to fill a void that isn't related to an empty stomach, you crave a specific food, such as pizza or ice cream, and only that food will meet your need. When you eat because you are actually hungry, you're open to options.
3. Emotional hunger feels like it needs to be satisfied instantly with the food you crave; physical hunger can wait.
4. Even when you are full, if you're eating to satisfy an emotional need, you're more likely to keep eating. When you're eating because you're hungry, you're more likely to stop when you're full.
5. Emotional eating can leave behind feelings of guilt; eating when you are physically hungry does not.

restriction now or restriction later?

while telling a friend about the 50 POUNDS program he said, wanting to be helpful, "it's not a diet, it's a life style!". and i said, "no. it's a diet and a lifestlye". i know where he was going with with this: nobody wants to be on a diet anymore! but guess what. it is what it is.
yes i am changing the way i eat, think and move, but at the end of the day i am still eating way less than i used to and sometimes i am hungry and sometimes it's hard. there is no way i am going to lose weight unless i restrict what i eat and how much i eat. no way around that fact. you can sugar coat it until the cows come home but them's the facts mame.
like "diet" and "obesity", "restriction" is an unpopular term. nobody likes hearing about that. if this conjurers up feelings, like "i don't get to have what they're having? what am i, a second class citizen?" you are not alone. and the answer is YES! you don't get to "have what they are having" because you are obese and they are not.
the good news is. if you can live with restricting what you EAT now, you will not have to restrict what you DO later. you will be able to sit where you like, walk where you want for as long as you want, hike, go to parties wearing dapper outfits and anything else you have a mind to do. what i am saying is: with restrictions comes freedom. you choose.

here is a link to the it sux to be fat blog that lists many of the things that being over-weight restricts.

letting go

"Two monks were on a pilgrimage. One day, they came to a deep river. At the edge of the river, a young woman sat weeping because she was afraid to cross the river without help. She begged the two monks to help her. The younger monk turned his back. The members of their order were forbidden to touch a woman.

But the older monk picked up the woman without a word and carried her across the river. He put her down on the far side and continued his journey. The younger monk came after him, scolding him and berating him for breaking his vows. He went on this way for a long time.

Finally, at the end of the day the older monk turned to the younger one. "I only carried her across the river. You have been carrying her all day."

Letting go can be difficult. Letting go of people, ideas, expectations, desires; letting go of bad habits, false beliefs and unhealthy relationships... the list goes on. Every day, every moment presents an opportunity to create ourselves anew, to shrug off the baggage of the past, open ourselves up to the possibility of the moment and take action to create an incredible future.

response-ability

taking responsibility for our actions in nothing more than paying attention to what we see, hear, touch (external stimuli) and then react to the best of our ability. (response-ability). taking response ability seriously is important in many ways. when we go to see our doctors we are temporarily employing them to use their response-ability to assess our physical or mental needs. but it is our response-ability to make right choices every day ultimately determines if we flourish or perish?

hey this is funny: 
if we train ourselves to get fast at making good responses we could call it response-ajility! training our minds to make the right choice time after time in quick succession.

can't vs won't

do you remember when you were a child and asked "can i go to the bathroom" and the answer was not yes or no but rather a correction? because the proper way to ask is "may i go to the bathroom".
these distinctions are important.
bearing this in mind, consider how we are likely to speak when we are on a diet. one might say "oh i can't eat one of those frosted doughnuts. i'm on a diet!". but this is stinkin' thinkin'! because fact is, we can eat the doughnut (or whatever) if we want to...our mouths can chew, right?
when we say can't we are denying ourselves a pleasure we may think we deserve. and eventually we will build-up resentments which will culminate in a splurge or eat-fest or worse the end of our eating program.
the place we want to be in body/mind/spirit is to say "i won't eat that doughnut and further more, i don't want that doughnut. because my own good health is very important to me." or even "i respect myself too much to eat that doughnut". no denial there! just self empowerment, awareness, personal responsibility.
try it!

the obesity factor & stigmatization

for me, coming to terms with the fact that i am actually obese has help me begin to deal with my current weight in realistic terms. i started by looking up the ugly word OBESITY online. then i began to appreciate some of the complexities of the problem that i had been ignoring in the past. i was interested to know that: Obesity is stigmatized in much of the modern world, though it was widely perceived as a symbol of wealth and fertility at other times in history, and still is in some parts of the world. A person who is stigmatized possesses a weight that leads to a devalued social identity, and is often ascribed stereotypes or other labels denoting a perceived deviance which can lead to prejudice and discrimination. Common, “weight-based”, stereotypes are that obese persons are lazy, lack self-discipline, and have poor willpower, but also possess defects of intelligence and character.

"the bacchanal is over"

while speaking with my new (unbeknownst to her) mentor, who is about 80 now and freely speaks her mind, i was told on no uncertain terms that i was "too round" and "unhealthy". Then she moved in and almost whispered into my ear, "You've had a pretty good go of it! but look at you now, and if you don't make some kind of change in your diet and exercise where will you be when your 60?" She raised her eyebrow in a knowing way and then said,"For you... the Bacchanal is over!".

 "well!" i thought to myself, "that's quite a bold thing to say. and it's true!"
it suddenly struck me like a bag of bricks that what she was saying was true! my physical ailments were bound to start popping up as i age, and those ailments will only be complicated by my increasing morbid obesity. it was time to make some positive changes in my awful habits.

it was in that moment i decided that i would change! this was the beginning of a new me. a sensible me. a healthier me.
i'd start improving my health immediately. i'd discontinue my use of alcohol. unlike food, i don't need THAT to survive i rationed. it's would be a very clear and simple change. ending the bacchanal would be a sobering experience. no more happy-hour drink specials, accompanied by happy hour foods, which often lead to post-happy-hour binging, which could ultimately leads to feelings of guilt and self-loathing, followed by more drinking+eating and a sort of sluggish hang-over the next day that would not be conducive to an early morning walk, or swim or any other types of healthy exursion.

so be it! the bacchanal is over!

finding the balance

recently, when i was "home" visiting family for the holidays, i experienced some emotional upsets. it seems that i am still so sensitive about certain trigger issues after all these years. when talking to a brother later on about my experiences, suggested that i needed to address these unresolved emotional issues in an unusual way: by losing weight. he reasoned that getting my weight into balance may help resolve the other mind/spirit issues. this is something i never considered before. is my body out of balance because of the mind/spirit issues? or is my mind/spirit out of balance because of the body imbalance? just as in making adjustments to the colors on a painting, changing one thing changes everything else, perhaps making a few corrections in one or two areas can help bring the whole into correctness.

the "hoarder mentality"

in america today we are taught from a very early age that the more you have the better you are: more money=success. we were raised and live in the advertising age. fancy cars, huge burgers, the newest fashions, the biggest houses are all the symbols of success. it's no wonder that our culture is the first to develop a a thing called compulsive hoarding. although researchers have only recently begun to study hoarding, according to the mayo clinic, "It is not clear whether "compulsive" hoarding is a separate, isolated disorder, or rather a symptom of another condition, such as OCD".
like obesity, this is a complicated issue. but one thing is clear, there is a growing need in our society to have more. because not having enough is a sign of weakness. could these concepts be the under-pinnings of some people's desire to eat more, as if they cant get enough?
compulsive hoarding and compulsive eating are related enough for me to wonder about my insatiable desire to eat. does my compulsive eating attempt to fill the same empty hole inside me that compulsive hoarding fills? i am not an expert, but i do know that it sometimes feels that way.
for years i have said, "most people struggle to have more. but i struggle to have less".  and it's true, it is a struggle to have less. i live simply and believe in the power of austerity. as i am beginning to come to terms with my over-weight reality, i wonder if it would be possible for me to transfer my approach to "having less" to one of "eating less"?

the body+mind+spirit component

i am currently carrying 50 pounds of extra weight on my body (maybe 50x2).
you and i can see that easily in this photo taken just a few months ago.
but why? carrying this much extra weight can't possibly serve me in any way. can it? current studies show that the social stigma that is attached to overweight is incredibly negative. fat people are often considered to be lazy, sloppy and out of control. but the issue is more complex than first meets the eye. no one wants to be fat. but so many are!

most people of my size and age have been battling their weight for their entire lives. there are no easy answers. if there were, everyone would be thin and seemingly fabulous.

my prediction is that my "body weight" issues are inextricably associated with "spirit weight" and "mind weight" and therefore to achieve balance in one area, one needs to achieve balance in all three.

i recently saw an excellent film that introduces some of these concepts called, The Gift of Diabetes. if you are interested in making positive changes in your life and find your true passion, take the time to watch this film.

overveiw

"fifty pounds to passion" is an process of elimination to reveal the core essence of life. it is to be the summation of of various concepts that i am exploring to find the balance between body, mind and spirit.